What do you have to lose by giving the situation a try? That is the only way you will know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. No harm in investing some time and seeing where things lead. Everyones situation is different.
Bumble Bee
JoinedPosts by Bumble Bee
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23
Ex JW boy meets ex JW girl....good thing or bad thing?
by digderidoo inex jw boy meets ex jw girl....good thing or bad thing?.
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JW wedding reception - Should I go? Would you?
by Girlie ini've been invited to attend a wedding reception of a "sister" that i was formerly close with.
there was no major breaking up of the friendship or anything, other than her not liking a statement i made.
just a distancing apart.
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Bumble Bee
I agree with screwproof. Looks like she is inviting everyone she can find in the hopes of maximizing her loot at the end of the day. You said this invite came in the form of an email? Is this something new that wedding invites go out as a mass email and not through the post anymore?
The whole thing sounds crass to me.
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My JW mom and sister are attending a birthday party I'm hosting
by Bumble Bee inmy mom knows my position on not being a jw anymore, and we have a pretty good relationship after some rocky patches.
my younger sister is the only one that is still a jw, my older siblings had all left many many years ago, and my younger brother and his family has left now as well.
we have had a few non birithday, birthday parties in the past, no candles on the cake, no singing happy birthday, but just all getting together as a family and having a good time.
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Bumble Bee
LOL @ A&W!! Can you and Lenny make it up?? We'd do the party up right if you guys could be here!!
OTWO - I'm seeing that now. I no longer need to change my life to accomodate their religious beliefs.
Dinah - that is my hope, but I fear it won't ever happen fully. The only thing keeping her in is the hope that she will be with my father again in the "New System". I'm pretty sure she has her doubts on things, but she clings to that last hope like a life preserver.
Freedom - there are some JW's that break the mold, and it's refreshing to see that they can see past some of the silly rules.
VIII - thank you!
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12
My JW mom and sister are attending a birthday party I'm hosting
by Bumble Bee inmy mom knows my position on not being a jw anymore, and we have a pretty good relationship after some rocky patches.
my younger sister is the only one that is still a jw, my older siblings had all left many many years ago, and my younger brother and his family has left now as well.
we have had a few non birithday, birthday parties in the past, no candles on the cake, no singing happy birthday, but just all getting together as a family and having a good time.
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Bumble Bee
My mom knows my position on not being a JW anymore, and we have a pretty good relationship after some rocky patches. My younger sister is the only one that is still a JW, my older siblings had all left many many years ago, and my younger brother and his family has left now as well. We have had a few non birithday, birthday parties in the past, no candles on the cake, no singing happy birthday, but just all getting together as a family and having a good time.
My older sister says we shouldn't be doing this for them, but so far we've made this concession.
I have a very good friend that is a non JW, and it's their birthday coming up next Friday. I decided to have a big bbq/birthday party for them (I love entertaining) and am going to smoke a pork butt. I debated about inviting my mom and sister, because I don't want to have to not have the whole birthday party this time. If I didn't invite them, they would be upset, so I went ahead and invited them, it's their choice to decide to come and celebrate or not.
I was quite surprised when she said they would come. I did say they could arrange to be in the house when I bring out the cake if that made them more comfortable, and she didn't really say one way or the other if she would or not, so we will see what happens.
I really hope this is the start of us being able to celebrate holidays and special occasions fully and openly with them.
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Last of the JW literature on the burn pile :)
by SnakesInTheTower ini have posted a couple of threads in the last year getting rid of my old wt literatrash.
the first purge emptied an entire bookcase and part of another.
i put the remaining books into a big rubbermaid container and stored it.
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Bumble Bee
Boxes and boxes of mine went into the recycle truck. I hope it was made into toilet paper.
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Bumble Bee
Every chance I get! As often as I can.
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can you really ever fade with immediate family still in?
by oompa ini am beginning to think not....elders still want to call on me rather than befriend me in any way.....and with a "good" wife and son and parents in, it seems like i still have one foot in only because of the overlap with my other "free" self........it is hard to really feel free in this situation, and is still have desire to just run the fluck away.....which would mean pretty much giving up my family in nearly every respect.
some here really miss their family and wife, others so love the freedom they seem able to move on and start fresh....as you know, i dont seem to have the balls for that, and at this point in my life the price seems to high to fully start over........it is the "one in one out limbo dance"......oompa.
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Bumble Bee
Yes, you can. I "faded" and my family and my spouse's family were all in. It was hard keeping up the pretense of still being active, and finally you just get to a point where you don't want to do it anymore. I told my family how I felt and it was painful for awhile, but freeing all at the same time. I was willing to have my family turn their backs on me to life a free life and not have to worry that the cat would be let out of the bag that I wasn't going to meetings anymore. My family eventually came around. The decided that they wanted a relationship with me, regardless if I went to meetings anymore. I don't talk to them about my reasons why and they don't talk about "The Truth" to me.
It is all about sacrifices and what you are willing to sacrifice to get what you want - freedom. Only you can decide what you are comfortable sacrificing.
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FlyingHighNow Needs Our Love & Support
by snowbird inher son, jesse, is in serious condition.. my son is in surgery and may lose his hand and arm.. jesse got an infection in a cut on his finger.
his finger and hand swelled to the size of an arm .. .
they have to do surgery on his hand and arm.
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Bumble Bee
Any update on things?
My thoughts are with you and your son FHN.
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71
ex wants to be free to remarry - ugh
by No Apologies inok, i'm sure i am not the first one to be in this predicament but it sure is a headache, my jw ex called a few days ago, apparently she has met someone (they're not dating of course!
) and she wants to me to hand over the golden ticket.
she wants confirmation either in writing or verbally to a third party, that she is "scripturally free" to remarry.. i have managed for years now to avoid any judicial action and my jw family members still associate with me, but that all could come to a screeching halt if i give her what she wants.. the only bright side is she totally robbed me on the divorce; if she gets married i am at least off the hook for "spousal maintenance", that would mean potentially thousands of dollars in my pocket.... .
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Bumble Bee
that it is THEIR rules. Not yours. You have gotten the divorce - and by LAW you both are free to date other people - and/or remarry
Excellent point Jim!! She is legally free to remarry, that's all you need to tell her.
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Are you a better person now?
by bluecanary in[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> </w:worddocument> </xml><!
[endif] i'm curious about how people who have shifted religious beliefs feel about their own morals.
has the religion you've chosen made you a better person?
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Bumble Bee
My mother once said to me, when we were in the heat of a discussion on my choice to no longer be a JW, "you're not the same person anymore".
I told her she was right, I'm now a happy person, I'm healthy, and just feel GOOD about myself now. I did not feel that way as a JW. I felt free. Feeling like that on the inside, translates to what people see on the outside as well.